Creepypasta Wiki:Deletion Appeal
The Doornan Project Alright, so, my pasta was deleted for including a cliché. Nobody responded to me, and the only response was to read a pasta I'd already read before. The pasta was about anemones, and didn't seem to be anyway close to the Russian Sleeping Experiment. The only thing similar was flesh decay which was inspired by the Hell's Fire anemone. So, if somebody could say why it was deleted, I'd appreciate it. Also, I have the worst memory, so I can't make a pastebin. I'm sorry. You can deny this if you want. If you do, can you paste my story here so I can save it on Google Docs? --WaffleDinosaur (talk) 16:22, April 4, 2016 (UTC) :Let's start with the plot issues as those were mentioned in the comments. "This project is to test the limits of damage done to a human when being stung by types of sea anemone that can influence (produce) poison or varying quantities of pain." Why aren't they using an animal model for this experiment, especially since their first test is fatal? How did they get this project approved? Since the year is 1981, a time when laboratories were refining their procedures and taking more humane approaches to studies, this feels really out of place. Additionally the scope of the project feels too large. Most research projects would focus on one or two topics rather than just sea anemones in general. There is also very little consistency in their methods. One person is taken to the hospital while another is left to die from a brain aneurism. :Story issues cont.: Besides being awkwardly worded in places ("Subject began abnormally sweating, loss of control of urination", "Subject was administered morphine and sedative to dull pain and cause the subject to enter slumber"), a majority of these entries are very sparse. It doesn't feel very scientific when each entry is about 3-5 sentences and really doesn't focus on the physiology, patient history, or detail like what sedatives/treatments were administered. Remember, in this story, they are researching these venoms, they are going to be as detailed as possible (for example: "subject experienced schizophrenia and pyromania." how did they display symptoms of pyromania?) :Story issues final: "Dr. Doornan and his team marked seven of the tests as fatal and six of the anemones non-fatal with treatment." Why then are there four entries here if there were thirteen exposures studied? This gives the story the feel that you didn't research the effects of the other ones and left the story unfinished. All in all, this story doesn't make a lot of sense and doesn't feel like the premise was really thought out. I would suggest you take your next story to the writer's workshop as this is the second story of yours I've deleted with pretty widespread story issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 16:52, April 4, 2016 (UTC) Chocolate Monster My story was deleted for reasons unknown and without my knowledge. I just logged on one day and it's gone. I don't feel there was a real reason for it to be deleted. I don't even know if it was deleted for a real reason or just because someone wanted to as a joke; to be funny. Sure there possibly was a few grammatical errors scattered throughout, nothing that a little editing couldn't fix. Perhaps someone could of misinterpreted what the story was all about. What baffles me most is that it just disappeared and no reason is given nor am I even given the information. The plot is confusing by design. On other stories I've written people have misinterpreted what I've wrote and critique the unexplained. In my story there is a lot of things to be explained that has not been explained. These happenings will remain unexplained as that it what my intentions were. Obviously the characters act rather eccentric and reality is stretched. I wrote in one my blog posts a full analysis on what exactly the story was about. Ultimately what I'm saying is that if you don't understand something, it doesn't make that thing bad. My story is a bit unorthodox. It seems as if everything has to follow a specific formula to be classified as "good" anything that deviates from this "formula" is flawed and falls short of being considered a "good" story. Mystery12 (talk) 14:50, April 8, 2016 (UTC) :I'm sorry, but looking over the story, I can see why SoPretentious opted to delete your story under the "Housekeeping" reasons (A reason we give for stories that may have slipped through the cracks and not been reviewed or was once up to quality standards but is no longer.). We don't typically inform the author of a story's deletion if the author has been inactive or the story is more than a few months old. Onto why the story was likely deleted, here's what I assume triggered the deletion after reading it. Besides the punctuation, tense, grammatical, and wording issues in the story, there are also a lot of plot issues here too that brought the story's overall quality below that of our quality standards. :Punctuation issues: Punctuation missing from dialogue, incorrectly used, or left outside of quotations. "all them trees" he began", "could wreck something". He was drunk", "in one swipe". I was there when he did that,", ""I'll do it.(,)" I said wholeheartedly.", ""I know" he said.", etc. "Tha'ts right." Commas missing from areas where a pause in flow is implied. "About a month later on January 22nd he tried to flag me over.", "The next morning, January 23rd(,) I didn't go to work.", " He examined me over(,) unmoving, not speaking", etc. :Tense/miscellaneous issues: As the protagonist is recollecting all of these events, the tenses need to reflect that. "What is it?", "After her story concluded my drunken neighbor talks about an experience that he had." Spelling issues: "We only occasinally (sic) made small talk", "I seem him waving at me in a matter that he was summoning me.", etc. :Wording issues: Awkward wording: "At first it was suit his illusion of being innocent.", "I started to feel guilty as he probably seen me drive by everyday", "After a (an) eternal feeling day I left work.", etc. Fragmented sentences that should be joined together. "he decided to invite the best neighbor in the world. Me.", "Anything less than perfect? Certainly not.", etc. Grammatical issues: "After awhile instead of appearing their sporadically" :Story issues: While it is a small issues, plot points mentioned offhand can really weigh down a story. "My actual hours are from 10:30 AM to 4:00 in the afternoon, I just work overtime, partially because I need to make up my expenses and partially because I just like to work." Overtime needs to be cleared and the idea that he's working 10+ hours of overtime on a daily basis comes off as ridiculous. Then there are the larger plot points that need more explanation. Why does the protagonist talk to the Chocolate Monster in the first place? This is a dangerous person who shot up an office and evaded the law, why would the protagonist walk up to him and start asking him why he did it rather than call the police? :Story issues cont.: "That's the connection I made there. He just wanted acceptance, he was an outcast and appeared to me and ruined my life just to get his attention." I'm sorry, but why does the protagonist make that connection? The Chocolate Monster has done/said nothing to imply that he's interested in the protagonist, he could have been visiting that office for the boss or to relive the crime, it seems out of place that the protagonist would instantly jump to that conclusion (especially considering he wasn't present at the shooting). "He was not innocent, he was bad. (having shot up an office, why did he assume he was good in the first place?) He was lying to me and would bring me into a false sense of security." The Chocolate Monster has really done nothing to imply innocence or to lie. Looking over the story, he hasn't even spoken to the protagonist at that point. :Conclusion: I'm sorry, but it feels like you removed a number of paragraphs from the story that explained how the Chocolate Monster earned the man's trust, convinced him not to involve the police, and became his friend. Remember, this monster shot up his office and killed all of his co-workers except his boss. How did we reach this sequence of events where he assumed the monster wanted friendship and decide to interact with him? It feels like there are a lot of pieces missing here that would make the story more involving. The fact that you had to write a blog to explain an otherwise straight-forward story doesn't really help your case much either. In conclusion, this story needs a lot of work, besides the mechanical issues, there are quite a lot of plot problems here as well. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 15:31, April 8, 2016 (UTC) : : Lone's Origins well the story was biased on my real life, I actually joke all the time how it sounds like a bad fan fiction.....sorry lol. to be honest it's hard to write a short story biased on real life events I kinda mush it a bit you are correct for saying my grammar is pretty bad sorry to waste your time. and honestly I just can't afford programs like that; plus guess what spelling and grammar....it's not what depicts smarts your brain and what's inside it does....I was not trying to use that as a crutch really I was just being open about it...I was having trouble understanding what you where writing and that's why I mentioned it, I did not understand you instructions or what you wrote lol. I have problems reading....thank you for offering your advice and help or what you would call it. I appreciate your time. ^.^ also there are a ton of famous people outside of wiki who hated learning from schools yet turned out to be some of the smartest people. plus JK rolling was reject by just about every publisher she went to when trying to publish harry potter...and now look where she is. (btw not a big hp fan but hey it's info ^.^) book smarts and writing/grammar does not always mean the best writing just means you know who to write. ^.^ - sincerely Lolina Lone. (my friend ben did this =.=; so I added to it above. \/) :The story was deleted for not being up to quality standards. I'm sorry the fact that we are trying to improve the quality of our stories disappoints you, but truth is, we have moved away from poorly written stories with re-hashed plots. As for having dyslexia, there are multiple programs (we even have the writer's workshop to help) to improve your writing. Using it as a crutch isn't going to improve your skills. There are multiple authors on this site with dyslexia and even some famous authors (like F. Scott Fitzgerald, Jules Verne, Agatha Christie, and Yeats.) Making excuses doesn't make you a better writer, it just makes you seem like you're deflecting blame on a story you don't adequately proof-read or put time into. Onto the capitalization, punctuation, run-on sentences, wording, grammatical, and story issues that result in your story being below quality standards. Note: This is not a comprehensive list as there are a lot of issues in your story, here are the more common ones. :Capitalization: A majority of your sentences are left uncapitalized. "after talking to myself I'd go to my room...and hide....", "later that night I walked back into the house and picked up the hunting knife my dad gave me", "it was not over...", etc A lot of dialogue is also improperly capitalized. "“hey (Hey) there buddy.", "You aren't sorry!", "If you were sorry I wouldn't be here!", etc. You also randomly capitalize words at times. "I Walked to my brothers and fathers trailer a bit away from the house", "I Stepped up to my locker", etc. :Punctuation: Commas missing from sentences where a pause is implied. "hahaha(,) honestly your (sic) an idiot", "of course your fine(,) people around you are dying", "“so Alex how are things?” I asked", "I threw one of her books on the floor at her hitting her in the head she fell to the ground and I climbed on her stabbing her quickly through the heart...ending it quick.", etc. Apostrophes missing from possessive words. "brother(')s and father(')s trailer" :Run-on sentences: "I put on a frown as I turn on the light looking at my poor victim of circumstance sitting in that chair they were tied, had a gag in their mouth, and wore a lovely clean black blind fold being stained with tears; they were shivering with fear, suppose they already knew I am here I smile sadly pulling up a chair then I took my place on it sitting down in front of them.", "This person just ended up being in a place at the wrong time, they saw me killing some butt hole who just couldn't keep his mouth shut....and to be honest I was not one to kill people who don't deserve it or rather who I felt did not deserve it, but sadly I can't afford to leave loose ends.", etc. :Wording: A "“look not like it's (it) matters", "you didn't listen and you where (were) too nice", "now you don't have to regret not helping your sons and your bad dissensions (sic)", "I went to stop him but a gunshot sounded a bullet flying past me.". Grammar: Your=possession, you're=you are. "sorry but your going to sit here", "your not happy and people are not nice.", "your just talking", "your alone", etc. :Story issues: The story is incredibly generic. It follows the same trajectory of every OC character in existence. A pointlessly bullied teenager ("the notes on it.... "you don't belong here" "go die" "loser" "no one cares about you"") snaps, and murders people. There is nothing to differentiate this story from the dozens of other OC/CPC character stories on dA. A little known fact, we don't delete stories because we feel it's a waste of time, we delete stories because authors tend to rush through their work, riddle them with punctuation, capitalization, grammatical, and story issues and generally put very little time into them. Your story has all of these issues. It makes me wonder why after you got that message that your story had been deleted that you made minor formatting changes and re-uploaded the story. That doesn't seem to indicate pride in the time someone spent on their story, but rather a lack of effort. I'm turning down this appeal and suggesting you use the writer's workshop (link in the deletion message, on the home page, and on the welcome message) for your next story. As for your friend's and your disapproval, I think the higher quality of recent stories doesn't quite seem like a death knell for the wiki. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 05:30, April 9, 2016 (UTC) Orange My creepy pasta "Orange" was deleted of this wiki, for some pretty invaild reasons. I feel like I need to do this appeal because it will help me get it back. Let me start with why I think it should be appealed. Number 1, it has a very original and complicated story line. Number 2, it has met the standards of your wiki rules. Number 3, my creepypasta has given the creepy effects of a creepypasta story. Thank you. :It seems pretty arrogant to make an appeal without even bothering to revise your story after I pointed out the issues present in it. As you aren't putting any time into your appeal, I won't either. This is a copy/paste of everything you didn't bother to read/fix about the mechanical/plot issues present in your story that I focused on in the writer's workshop appeal. I hope you read it this time as it would be pretty foolish to claim it is up to quality standards after someone pointed out the multiple ways it wasn't. :Besides being one large paragraph, having punctuation (" he cried "No! Don't touch that!"", "because let(')s be fair", "he gasped and said(,) "Don't you just love it when everything is orange?"", etc.), wording ("I picked up my bag, and stooped (incorrect usage) down the steps.", "I feel regret up and down my spine. (awkward wording)", "I read the text from Phil, it read, "), frequent tense swapping issues ("As the wind beats against the glass", "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something.", etc.), capitalization ("slowest ive ever turned it."), and story issues. :Story issues: Besides the mechanical issues listed above, there are a lot of problems in the story itself. The story feels incredibly rushed. The protagonist meets Phil and invites him back to his house, offers to let him stay the night and poke through his phone all within the space of meeting him earlier that day. For example: "He was a nice man, we talked and took strolls in the park." and this line: "yes, we only were friends for a day," feel at odds. Additionally there really isn't a sense of description here and there isn't any real reason given for Phil's focus on orange. (It could be subbed out with any color and not influence the story at all) Lines like: "This felt incredibly creepy to me, almost like he wants to murder me or something." really can't be inferred from a plainly worded text so it feels out-of-place. :This story really needs a lot of fleshing out, description, and explanation to be effectively told. Currently, it feels very rushed and is a fairly weak premise. There are a number of other issues present in your story, but these were the most glaring that resulted in me deleting your story for not being up to quality standards. As such, I'm turning your appeal down for not spending anytime to correct issues or revise your story in any way, EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:37, April 17, 2016 (UTC) The Curse of the Seven Deaths I made a pasta titled as The Curse of the Seven Deaths, and a number of people edited it, one wrongly. I don't know why it was deleted, since one of the editors which I can remember is Jay Ten, deleted my pasta and was the one who edited the word fetal '''to be '''fatal. After a few minutes, he deleted my pasta. I believe that this pasta is the one I most admire. ~~ ( I don't know if this is posted already since there was an error.) I have written a pasta that was deleted by Jay Ten, he was one of the contributors that edited some of the words of my pasta, and he edited my pasta wrongly for one time. He changed fetal to fatal, but I was trying to bring the thought of a fetus in the womb kind of position. I don't really think that my pasta is qualified to be deleted. I admire my pasta, but I don't know why it was deleted. If you could take another look at my pasta, if you will, please consider. My pasta is not made of a straight plot consisting of a straight story. It is joined by few cases that act as puzzles to form the final picture of the crime. The pattern and format of my story may be the one that caused the deletion of my pasta. The plot isn't immediate, it's just, again, a collection of stories to form an ending, which technically makes a plot. It is chipped, the story line isn't continuous that much as of a real'' story, since I'm trying to form a story by using ''mini stories ''and let the readers ponder more upon the in-between story plots. Anonymous728.exe (talk) 06:50, April 18, 2016 (UTC) :Jay ten actually reverted an improper edit and then reviewed the story before he determined it wasn't up to snuff. He deleted it for not being up to quality standards after that and likely didn't factor in the edits made by the other user . Another user marked your story for review, calling it: "incomplete; lack of plot development" Looking over it, I have to agree with that. :Besides the issues you pointed out, there are still a lot of issues with wording here: "Investigators concluded that the object is estimated to be weighing as much as a small television.", "The corpses of Jesse White, Anne White, and Cindy White were found hanged on (from) a tree", "Again, no fingerprints were found and the weapon is missing since only the body is (was) returned.", "The child's name is shared only to the police, requested by their parents.", etc. You also tend to shift from telling the story in past tense to present tense without much explanation. "Some of the investigators, police, and even witnesses affiliated with this case are (were) brutally murdered several days after the last death." :Story issues: A lot of the case descriptions are very lacking and nonsensical at times. For example the 2nd-4th deaths are listed like this: "The death was concluded again to be ''asphyxia due to hanging (suicide)." despite having " a cut stretching the lips that of a grin". What detective would necessarily look at a person's corpse with a Glasgow grin and assume there was no instance of foul play? Then there's the police's conclusion about Andelev. "The curse was found to be real, suggesting trails of Andelev engaging in witchcraft or being a Wiccan." What organization would randomly just assume that the killer is using supernatural means when the case details are handled in such a practical manner (detailing the use of vinegar, detailing the causes of death, etc)? These cases feel incredibly rushed and there isn't any real sense of methodology here. I suggest reading The Case of Stitch (Part 1) series for an example of how a very similar premise is handled. :Then there's the ending. "Hopefully, the curse will not continue through the story readers." Besides being a really generic ending, why exactly are they exposing people at random to this undefined curse where they can't really observe it easily? (Tracking internet history and linking to the deaths of a site that is visited by multiple people from a wide range of places is not a good strategy.) Not only does this seem like a 'you're next' gimmick, but it also makes little sense. Why would they expose people to that threat if they already know it's the case from the people involved in the case dying already. It really doesn't work. t'm turning down this appeal and strongly recommending you use the writer's workshop for your next story as this is a pretty flawed premise and this is the fourth story we've deleted of yours where you've made no attempt to revise the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 07:04, April 18, 2016 (UTC) My Little Inferno Entertainment Fireplace I would like to make an appeal about my story being deleted. Well, maybe not an appeal, just ask WHY it was deleted because I wasn't given a reason. I know it wasn't a grammatical or syntactical error, so perhaps it was the subject matter. I know it was written after a video game but as there are no existing Little Inferno creepypastas I thought that it would be acceptable. Also the creepypasta wasn't written about someone playing a haunted Little Inferno game or anything similar to that, in fact, it was its own story. I'm not asking for you to post it back on here, per se, I'm just wondering what the logic was behind its deletion. Reposting it would be appreciated, but I don't care enough to make any further fuss other than this appeal. TwilightDagger (talk) 02:01, April 20, 2016 (UTC) :Starting with the basics, please avoid indenting paragraphs. While it has no impact on a story's deletion, it can cause some pretty large formatting errors that need to be resolved. Besides the punctuation errors like needed/missing commas: "I was such a smart girl, (not needed) to remember that!", "The house was so very warm, now, too", etc., there are quite a lot of issues with the story itself that resulted in it being deleted. To catch errors like these, try reading the story aloud to see where pauses come naturally (pausing slightly at commas, periods, conclusive punctuation, etc.) and if you hold at a place where there is a comma and it feels unnatural, it's likely that the commas isn't needed. :Story issues: The story feels vague at best leaving the mother's death unexplained, the purpose/origin of "My Little Inferno", etc which really detracts from the overall story and makes it un-involving to the audience without breadcrumbs to follow or plots to piece together. While the original game doesn't do too good a job explaining its story, it leaves hints and clues to why things are the way they are (frozen seas, letters from other characters, etc.) Without giving any real insight into the protagonist's history, mental state, current situation, why it's constantly snowing, or how these incinerators were provided to each house, it leaves unanswered questions that tend to form into plot holes that weaken the overall story. The mother is shown as dead in the chair, but where's the father? What lead to the mother's death and the father's abandonment of the family? How long has she been dead if she's already begun to mummify and become light enough for the (likely young) character to carry, but leave her eyes normal/not decomposed/shriveled? The incinerators require fuel, but there are delivery trucks moving around the neighborhood constantly with a readily available heating source. Why are they offering random items to burn like kittens, clocks, etc.? These questions give the story an incomplete/unfocused feel. :Story issues cont.: There is also a disconnect when taking an already dark game (with satiric tones) and rehashing the original premise without much explanation or building off from it. Much like taking a light-hearted game, and making it dark, there needs to be backstory and explanation given otherwise it comes off as parody. (The Scariest Video Game Ever is an example of the latter.) A more apt example for taking an already dark premise and making a story from it, you can re-tell "A Clockwork Orange", but if you don't really build off the premise any, it comes off as a half-formed idea that fails to meet up to the original. Then there's the ending: "I was almost out of money, but that was okay. I was sure I would be able to find more things to burn." without much insight into the character, this ending feels anticlimactic. There isn't a lot of focus here, similar to your story "June the 9th" that really doesn't make for an interesting/involving story with its relatively anemic journal entries and plot inconsistencies. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop to hep you catch these problems before posting them. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 02:31, April 20, 2016 (UTC) The Verse (Okay, TBH I'm not sure if i'm submitting this correctly because I'm REALLY new to Wikia.) Well, if I'm going to be honest, I have no idea why my story was deleted. But I believe that it's mostly from my slang talk. You know, things like: sooooo, lawl, URAAAGHG. All misspellings, I know. But, in the context of my story, this is a 16 year old girl saying these things. I wanted to make it seem real, like how an actual 16-year old would talk on the internet. (And I even used google docs to correct any misspellings that weren't intentional.) Maybe I could tone it down a teensy bit, but if I completely get rid of her "creative language" then I'm afraid that it'll ruin my story. I believe that it's THAT big of a factor. So maybe excuse the slang? If it's anything other than that, please let me know. (Btw: I know I probably sound like a rambling mess, I need to sleep) Isabella Grace (talk) 04:24, May 6, 2016 (UTC) :Starting with the basics, please use source mode when posting a story as this line of coding was present on every line of text "''' '''Okay…" While it isn't a huge issue, it can cause some pretty nasty formatting issues and even make a story unreadable. :While the grammar/spelling/capitalization, etc. can be reasoned away as being a 17 year old's diary (although the fact that they trail into the killer's entry really weakens that explanation: "I am just have a deep appreciation for the arts.", "You may wonder what happened to Gabbie, (comma not needed) and Kat.", etc.), the story issues itself really can't. :Story issues: Here's a guide on journal entries. Your story followed a lot of the generic points highlighted there. Like the: "Imminent danger/i.e. the 'I don’t have much time.' concept" ("I drew a sketch of him. He had blonde hair… uh… a whiteish goldish suit, I think, a white mask, uh… WHO CARES?! Just please please please please please please help me!!! It's going to kill me! I don't know what to d"), the 'monster finishes the story' cliche ending. ("I don't know what to d Hello. You may call me Crescendo."), as well as a lot of other generic tropes common in journal pastas. :Story issues cont.: Additionally a lot of the diary entries are really short, don't do a great job of fleshing out the story/premise, and really doesn't do a good job pulling the audience in. This is very evident when lines like this are used. "And it's too real to be recorded" Why wouldn't she try recording it? She assumed her friends were behind this prank so why wouldn't she try to record it so she can research it or even check with her family/other friends to get to the bottom of it? It feels like a pretty large plot issue to bring up and completely ignore. :Story issues end: If she feels like she's in direct danger (a man in a masquerade mask is following her around and singing a song she's been hearing since early in the journal), why isn't she trying to get help instead of updating her journal and drawing sketches of him? It really doesn't make the character believable and weakens the overall story. I would suggest taking your next story to the writer's workshop as a lot of this story's plot points feel rehashed from other stories of the same genre. I'm turning down the appeal based on the reasons given above. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:43, May 6, 2016 (UTC) Why did you delete my pasta? Please Knock. Anonymous728.exe (talk) 16:58, May 13, 2016 (UTC)